Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Randomize
