At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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