Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize