my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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