Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
