Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
