Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
