Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
