he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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