The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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