did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ladies don't puke and tell
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
