I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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