hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
