is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize