Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Operation Purity has been aborted
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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