you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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