gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is Oprah even human
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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