Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
