Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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