We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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