my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
