Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
