So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
