he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
