what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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