come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
