I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My ass is underappreciated
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
