I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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