Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
