I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize