What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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