there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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