Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
