yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
