i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
