i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
