Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
