sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
