We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize