The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize