I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
