Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
