...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
