I want to have your abortion
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
