My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize