woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
