I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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