lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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