she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
