So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
