I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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