Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
