He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
