I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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