smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
