I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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