An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
