Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
