Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
