Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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