"it" just moved
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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