I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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