Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
