I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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