their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize