We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
