oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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