At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
