stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
