It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
love makes seman taste better
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just pee around me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
